the invitation

I ought to have put this up earlier as it's been designed for a while. I'm actually very proud of it. We based it on a wedding invite we saw here, and made it our own with help by the fabulous Jessica Walsh who hand illustrated all the little pictures you see.

It's the story of how we got together :-)

Hope you enjoy...they're at the printer now and will be out in the mail soon! (with matching RSVP's :)

the rings

The rings came! My mom had them made for us and mailed them.

And did I take a photo of them *on* us

and did we practice putting them on each other? Hellz yes!

Honeymoon Shopping

Dear readers,

Today I discovered that googling hotel reviews is a lot like googling symptoms of an illness you're unsure if you have. It can terrify you into never leaving your home again.

I have always wanted to visit Hawaii. You see, I shamelessly admit that locales in movies (especially romantic movies) become beloved idols upon which my worship and excitement can be generously bestowed.

The first time I saw the Eiffel Tower I forgot all my jet-lag, emitted some kind of inhuman sound and started running towards it - leaving my boyfriend to gape and in his also jet-lagged state, wonder if some kind of dangerous emergency might be taking place. Eventually he caught up with me and gently explained that it was probably much further than it looked. I had nearly left the Louvre grounds by this point and was heading into traffic.

So imagine the lush, tropical paradise, unspoiled by reality that I imagined in Hawaii! Yes, long white sandy beaches, hammocks strung between palm trees and incredible sunsets everywhere I go. Hula dancing and of course surfing which I would watch from the shore, much as I watch roller coasters from the ground.

Looking up hotel websites was an excellent way to confirm all my fantasies. Tag lines like "where heaven and aloha meet" fed my already bloated idealism. Photographs of (conveniently empty) pools spilling into pools, lagoons and waterfalls all mere steps from the beach bathed my eyes in soothing confirmation. And every room photo appeared to have prime oceanfront situation, usually with a private balcony.

Then I thought to myself, I ought to look up Fodor, Frommer's and Lonely Planet and learn the sites to see, weather and seasons. It was as I perused the delights of this information (rainbows everyday! Whales singing you to sleep!) that I encountered "hotels" and realized, not only had travel guide's reviewed them, but actual visitor's had as well.

Actual visitor reviews are like....well, the reality TV version of a hoity theatre review. Awful, but you can't look away.

Things like "The room was so dirty I had to buy my own wipes and clean it." from not one, not two, but THREE previous guests of one hotel.

"Our partial ocean view was 99% parking lot and car alarms kept us up all night."

"People got up at 6am and reserved all the best lanai's, then went to breakfast so no one could sit anywhere." (this lead to the delightful discovery that you must rent daily, your lanai/chairs)

The lists went on and on. Bugs, hidden costs, time share rope-ins, crowded pools, resort meals costing a fortune a plate. And through it all these little pass-on's of "here's how to scam this, or sneak that, or negotiate this." Which I truly dislike.

I started to think the hotels I was looking at must be duds (though one miraculously managed to garner 99% positive reviews - I think because you could snorkel and see turtles) so I looked up the very best hotels there were.

People crapped on the Four Seasons. Seriously.

"The pool wasn't big enough." You're on an island with like 1000 beaches and your pool isn't big enough? That is like complaining about your book in a LIBRARY.

Fortunately this helped me file some of the reviews under Chandler's amazing line from Friends: "Oh no two women love me! They're both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet's too small for my fifties and my diamond shoes are too tight!"

Then I made the mistake of clicking the "stay healthy" link on Frommers. o_o

A variety of decidedly unpleasant insect life greeted me but hey, insects are everywhere. Mosquitos? Meh. Centipedes? Well, yuck, but you can step on them.

Scorpions? W.T.F. Why are scorpions allowed in Hawaii? This is a gross national oversight.

Then we get to marine dangers. This is where things took a turn.

There is a jellyfish in Hawaii called the Portuguese Man of War. Why is this title necessary?

WTF is THAT?! I grew up in the Maritimes. I have seen jelly fish. THAT is not a jelly fish. What is that JAWS??!? That is just so not right.

Then they have "box jellyfish" that are pretty much INVISIBLE to the naked eye. Yes, like giant hornets of the ocean, but you can't see them.

Just....why God why?

Finally, this delightful "stay healthy" page concludes with a link to an article entitled, "Everything you ever wanted to know about sharks!"

I am not making this up.

To conclude, do not google "jellyfish stings." You do not want to google this. Really google ought to prompt you when you make stupid search engine choices. "Are you sure you want to see that? It's horrifying and gross." Have some moral accountability google and know me better than I know myself.

Back to Hawaii.

Though the shark-like maniacal jellyfish did add a fright factor to paradise I could definitely have done without the pro con list still reads like this:

Cons: tourist mash-up, hidden costs, man of war jellyfish, invisible jelly fish, scorpions (for real?!), jet lag, terrifying hotel reviews, jellyfish.

Pro: Hawaii :-)

It's the weekend, don't forget to have fun.

I love you drew, now I will crush you.