the rings

The rings came! My mom had them made for us and mailed them.

And did I take a photo of them *on* us

and did we practice putting them on each other? Hellz yes!

Honeymoon Shopping

Dear readers,

Today I discovered that googling hotel reviews is a lot like googling symptoms of an illness you're unsure if you have. It can terrify you into never leaving your home again.

I have always wanted to visit Hawaii. You see, I shamelessly admit that locales in movies (especially romantic movies) become beloved idols upon which my worship and excitement can be generously bestowed.

The first time I saw the Eiffel Tower I forgot all my jet-lag, emitted some kind of inhuman sound and started running towards it - leaving my boyfriend to gape and in his also jet-lagged state, wonder if some kind of dangerous emergency might be taking place. Eventually he caught up with me and gently explained that it was probably much further than it looked. I had nearly left the Louvre grounds by this point and was heading into traffic.

So imagine the lush, tropical paradise, unspoiled by reality that I imagined in Hawaii! Yes, long white sandy beaches, hammocks strung between palm trees and incredible sunsets everywhere I go. Hula dancing and of course surfing which I would watch from the shore, much as I watch roller coasters from the ground.

Looking up hotel websites was an excellent way to confirm all my fantasies. Tag lines like "where heaven and aloha meet" fed my already bloated idealism. Photographs of (conveniently empty) pools spilling into pools, lagoons and waterfalls all mere steps from the beach bathed my eyes in soothing confirmation. And every room photo appeared to have prime oceanfront situation, usually with a private balcony.

Then I thought to myself, I ought to look up Fodor, Frommer's and Lonely Planet and learn the sites to see, weather and seasons. It was as I perused the delights of this information (rainbows everyday! Whales singing you to sleep!) that I encountered "hotels" and realized, not only had travel guide's reviewed them, but actual visitor's had as well.

Actual visitor reviews are like....well, the reality TV version of a hoity theatre review. Awful, but you can't look away.

Things like "The room was so dirty I had to buy my own wipes and clean it." from not one, not two, but THREE previous guests of one hotel.

"Our partial ocean view was 99% parking lot and car alarms kept us up all night."

"People got up at 6am and reserved all the best lanai's, then went to breakfast so no one could sit anywhere." (this lead to the delightful discovery that you must rent daily, your lanai/chairs)

The lists went on and on. Bugs, hidden costs, time share rope-ins, crowded pools, resort meals costing a fortune a plate. And through it all these little pass-on's of "here's how to scam this, or sneak that, or negotiate this." Which I truly dislike.

I started to think the hotels I was looking at must be duds (though one miraculously managed to garner 99% positive reviews - I think because you could snorkel and see turtles) so I looked up the very best hotels there were.

People crapped on the Four Seasons. Seriously.

"The pool wasn't big enough." You're on an island with like 1000 beaches and your pool isn't big enough? That is like complaining about your book in a LIBRARY.

Fortunately this helped me file some of the reviews under Chandler's amazing line from Friends: "Oh no two women love me! They're both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet's too small for my fifties and my diamond shoes are too tight!"

Then I made the mistake of clicking the "stay healthy" link on Frommers. o_o

A variety of decidedly unpleasant insect life greeted me but hey, insects are everywhere. Mosquitos? Meh. Centipedes? Well, yuck, but you can step on them.

Scorpions? W.T.F. Why are scorpions allowed in Hawaii? This is a gross national oversight.

Then we get to marine dangers. This is where things took a turn.

There is a jellyfish in Hawaii called the Portuguese Man of War. Why is this title necessary?

WTF is THAT?! I grew up in the Maritimes. I have seen jelly fish. THAT is not a jelly fish. What is that JAWS??!? That is just so not right.

Then they have "box jellyfish" that are pretty much INVISIBLE to the naked eye. Yes, like giant hornets of the ocean, but you can't see them.

Just....why God why?

Finally, this delightful "stay healthy" page concludes with a link to an article entitled, "Everything you ever wanted to know about sharks!"

I am not making this up.

To conclude, do not google "jellyfish stings." You do not want to google this. Really google ought to prompt you when you make stupid search engine choices. "Are you sure you want to see that? It's horrifying and gross." Have some moral accountability google and know me better than I know myself.

Back to Hawaii.

Though the shark-like maniacal jellyfish did add a fright factor to paradise I could definitely have done without the pro con list still reads like this:

Cons: tourist mash-up, hidden costs, man of war jellyfish, invisible jelly fish, scorpions (for real?!), jet lag, terrifying hotel reviews, jellyfish.

Pro: Hawaii :-)

It's the weekend, don't forget to have fun.

I love you drew, now I will crush you.

Bridesmaids dresses!

Ordered and en route!

I wanted to be one of those "cool" brides that let her bridesmaids pick the style they really liked (and you know, didn't choose a colour that could be observed from space) and happily my girls are not only willing to wear any colour I choose (including those visible to our alien neighbours) but they picked out two of the prettiest dresses EVER.

Maid of Honor's Dress: chosen by my sis Gill

Bridesmaid dress: chosen by my beloved Jenny P.

And yup, those are the colours. I must put up a "crafty" post and share the little place cards I started making by hand in my colours. I have a triad of pink going, deep kind of berry purply pink and then two shades lighter. I think it will make for a nice bouquet and table accents and of course dresses :-)

The room has a lovely light sea-green carpet that I also think a deep pink will look nice with.

I didn't think I'd enjoy picking out colours since I can never decide, I always like them all. But I'm really happy with my choices.

Once finalized I'll include a post with the invite too. I'm very proud of it :-)

Details

I love shopping around for those little details that say so much at your reception. It starts out fun and creative and everything else to be enjoyed in wedding planning.

For example:

http://trulyweddingfavors.com/products/eiffel-tower-place-card-holder

Your thought process if you have read my engagement story will probably look very like mine:

1. O..m..g..! Eiffel Towers! How perfect!

2. On sale for just $1.51 each! Excellent!

3. One hundred and fifty of those will cost me.....wait a second....

Why must everything cost a lot when multiplied by 150?

This is just another reason I dislike math. It joins forces with money and ruins my life.

This time it used the Eiffel Tower.

I might have to spring for these anyway.

So. Awesome.

My husband.

I have started this blog much as started my livejournal, without much artifice or preamble, just dutiful points, lists, pictures and so on. In my mind, I thought documenting my planning process would prove valuable later somehow.

But I realize the result feels stale and says very little on the part that is probably the most important to me: why I'm getting married and to who.

So in that vein, I'll toss aside the clipart (but promise to do a later entry on wedding drama, which I had decided to avoid, but have since amended to 'who cares? everyone loves a little drama'.) and do an entry on the best part of getting married:

My husband.

Let me begin with a little context here: I realize the entire definition of marriage has become a shifting landscape and like all pillars of yesteryear has fallen in and out of fashion with dizzying frequency. So here is what it means to me.

1. My parents got married young and spent 7 years travelling and doing everything they dreamed of before having a family. I thought this was unequivocally awesome. Marriage was like a partnership of superhero proportions the result of which was a realization of 'living your twenties' potential I didn't think anything could top.

2. I'm a fairly shameless romantic. When asked, "Have you watched such-and-such show or movie, I think you would like it." my first question is "Does anyone get together in the end? Is there romance?" If no, you must do a fairly convincing dance to get me interested.

So thanks to 1 & 2 I was pretty much genetically and experientially conditioned to love the idea of marriage. Partnership enriching life and realizing an ultimate concept of self? Sign. Me. Up.

But then we come to the rest of my list:

3. Divorce. There's rather a lot of it around, and in my family, my parents included. You'd think this would make me a cynic or shake up my faith but it actually does the opposite and here is why:

a) I never measure myself or my expectations in comparison to others

b) When adversity strikes I take it personally and an alarmingly powerful pride instinct kicks in whereby I am determined that I will not be struck down by the ills that befall other mortals.

So, being that I am committed to the idea of commitment, no mere statistic will be slowing me down. I never liked statistics anyway. Statistics is like an entire math devoted to the notion that the glass is half empty and therefore Murphy's Law reigns.

So 3. simply resulted in my determination that I would redefine my own concept of marriage. One wherein my partner clearly understood that ours was to be an adventure of the first merit navigating the landscape of life and repainting it with the optimism of happy expectations and a deep rooted sense of 'getting it'.

4. Twenties = series of 'not-to-be' relationships.

This was probably the hardest on me. As hard as graduating University and continuing to work a series of go-nowhere jobs. It's hard to float on just your own optimism. It's good to have another person to help you re-fuel.

And I did have to stop looking before I found it. I had flagged marriage as one of my big checkmarks. Achieve it, or feel unsuccessful in life. The End.

That's not really how it works though. In a wierd way you have to accept yourself as the version of you that won't have that, before you find that you will. At least I did.

Enter Drew.

There is an almost comical series of moments that follow a get-together between two people who've acclimatized to a lot of relationship bumps and challenges and compromises.

There's some giving each other the stink-eye of suspicion. Some over-reacting. Some true startlement at the notion that this person performs differently in a relationship and 'oh-my-god they don't think like that! I never have to worry about being misunderstood again!'

There is also a truly great buzz to be had by navigating the smooth sailing of bottom-line compatibility.

It isn't sharing the same philosophy. The same taste in music, books, food.

For me, it is always finding open arms when I want them. It is that person who wants me next to them on the couch at the end of the day when nothing else remains but to share the warm glow of companionship against the untidy landscape of home.

Bonus if one person is always warm and the other cold. (If you're the cold one, this is a bonus, not sure how warmie feels about icy feet tucked under their leg at night)

The best part so far has been how unwavering the buzz really is. Years go by, it still feels almost too easy to be together and I'm still washed over by happiness realizing it. I guess the compatibility has to be there in how you appreciate each other and where you place that in the scheme of your life.

For me the best possible life grows out of a well-tended happiness.

I have finished more writing, written more songs, and been physically healthier in the past three years than ever before. Your body knows when you're in a good place I think.

So now, after my philosophizing and idealizing of marriage as a tradition heavy rite of passage into romantic fulfillment, I find myself walking into it older, with a friend by my side, a little less rose-coloured-glass over my eyes, but an incalculably precious appreciation of what I truly have and what it means to who I have become as an adult.

I look at the mark of Drew in my future and it brings me only happiness.

I can be a sappy romantic and tie up our anniversary cards with ribbon and he will huggle me appropriately.

I can high-five him for our awesomeness and he will cap the moment with a great one-liner.

He will muddle along with me in comfortable contentment, then astonish me with a compliment that reveals a true insight I forgot he had looking at me through my best and worst.

He will be my husband in the old fashioned way and look for little pockets of praise when he inadvertently performs a "duty". He will be my husband with quiet pride on our travels together, taking my hand and wearing our rings and appreciating our partnership. He will be my husband with a laugh poking subtle fun at the institution because he knows he can get away with it, because underneath it all, we both understand what it really is.

He will be Drew, who met me at the airport shuttle stop looking taller and possibly skinnier than I remembered and revealing inexplicably just by his posture in walking over to meet me, that I had made the right choice. He will always be that Drew and every Drew after and the boon of that is immeasurable. But marriage feels like a good start.

shoes

I'm no shoe afficiando though as I gracefully navigate my thirties ;-) I find a little blossom of appreciation for them has taken root near my shopper's heart.

So here are shoes and shoe accessories I've admired for el wedding:

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=42176798

Silk & crystal, these clips go on your shoes making them bridal pretty. I thought the idea was cute and the pictures are very convincing.

Thoughts?

I'm always partial to shoes with fabric down the middle. It's like having a shimmy-shimmy dress for your foot...

http://www.myglassslipper.com/wedding-shoes/martinez-valero/corrine-5627

I do love an old fashioned shoe as well...

http://www.rachelsimpsonshoes.co.uk/range.php?range=2&name_id=23&style_id=148

The shoe above was my first fave.

:-)